Apples and Peaches
by AndiTheChibi
Summary: Gai decides to set up Lee and Tenten on a date. Involves Neji running around in his boxers, and Gai in a pink dress. A LeeTen ONESHOT for Maiyuko's challenge.


This is my one shot for Maiyuko-chan's LeeTen challenge. Sorry it took so long.

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Maito Gai had a mischievous plan. All of his team had become fourteen years old during the past year, and he had decided to bring about the springtime of youth to two of his students; the third would be neglected for the time being. In other words, he was going to set up Lee and Tenten. Gai had several incentives for his mission: one was that he loved Lee like his own son, and wanted him to be happy, the second was that Tenten had recently been dumped by Neji and sunk into a deep depression, which led her to lose her one-hundred percent accuracy, the third was that Sakura, from his rival's team, had passed him a twenty-dollar bill, and told him to find a way to get Lee off of her back. It was a three-way, win-win situation. He had attempted pairing them up for sparring, but Lee became over-excited, and beat the crap out of Tenten. Even after he made Lee carry her to the hospital, Tenten had started a verbal fight. Then, Gai had tried the old trick of sending fake love letters to both of them. In the end, Tenten accused Neji of messing with her and Lee. After thinking long and hard, with many trials-and-errors, he finally came up with a flawless plan: "Plan K!"

It was the lunch break of a normal training day, and team Gai was sitting in a circle on logs and rocks. Gai had volunteered to bring lunch that day. After passing out rice balls that were molded into the shape of turtles, he pulled out an opaque plastic bag, a green marker, and a large easel. "You're going to play a youthful game!"

"No, we're not," Neji simply stated, as if he had the final word, which he didn't.

"Yes, we are," Gai and Lee said together.

"No, we're not," Neji repeated.

"Yes, we are!" Gai, Lee, **and** Tenten said in unison. The peer pressure was the victor.

"Fine," Neji muttered.

Gai picked up the bag. "There are three different fruits in this bag: an orange, a peach, and an apple. You will all take a fruit from the bag."

"But, Gai-sensei, I'm allergic to oranges!" Tenten complained.

"I don't want to hear it! You're going to play," Gai commanded.

"Yes, Gai-sensei."

"Why are we drawing fruit?" Neji questioned.

"Because, my dear Neji," Gai began to explain, "the remainder of your day will be determined by the fruit you pick!"

"This is stupid," Neji commented.

His teacher didn't hear him. Gai began to write on the easel. "There is only one rule to this game,"

Gai told his students. _NO USING BYAKUGAN!_, he wrote in big, bold, underlined, capital, italicized letters.

"Like I would cheat on a lame game like this," Neji murmured.

"If you pick the apple, you will spend your day with who ever picked the peach and vice versa," the man in green spandex explained. "But, if you get the orange, you will have to run through the streets of Konoha all day-"

"Oh! Oh! I want the orange!" Lee cut in.

"Lee! Let me finish!" Gai punched his student, sending him flying. "The person who picks the orange will run through the streets in their underwear screaming, 'I love you, Jiraiya!'"

"I want the apple!" Lee yelled after picking himself up.

"You're kidding me," Neji and Tenten said together.

"Okay, pick your fruit!" the teacher commanded his students.

"Yes, Sir!" Lee said enthusiastically. He plunged his hand into the open bag and licked his upper lip. Lee slowly and dramatically pulled his hand out. He was holding a shiny green apple. "Yes! The apple! Gai-sensei! I did it!"

"Lee!" Gai said loudly, tears of happiness flowing down his face.

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!

"Lee!" The two embraced as if they were the main characters of a soap opera.

"Okay. Stop," Tenten demanded. Lee and Gai broke away from their embrace.

Gai held up the bag for Neji and Tenten. After a moment of hesitation, they picked at the same time. Neji had picked the peach and Tenten had picked the orange. They all stared at the fruit and then the males stared at Tenten. Gai snatched the peach and the orange from his students and swiftly switched them. "No! I'm not running around in my undergarments and confessing my so-called love for Jiraiya!" Neji screamed as he threw his orange to the ground.

"Yes, you are," Gai and Lee said together.

"Better you than me!" Tenten cheered, taking a bite out of her peach.

"Losers," Neji insulted under his breath.

"You will begin now, Neji," Gai informed.

Neji cursed and flipped off his teacher when he wasn't looking. He took off his shirt and shorts, revealing his boxers, which had---

"Pink heart print!" Tenten questioned, shocked.

"Hinata-sama took me shopping. End of story," her teammate explained as he began to run off in the direction of downtown Konoha. Lee, Tenten, and Gai stood in silence until they heard Neji's first confession and a few wolf whistles. They then broke into hysterical laughter.

Their sensei dug into his pocket and took out a small wad of folded money. He passed them to Lee. "I want you two to go, have a youthful snack at a youthful cafe, and go catch a youthful movie." Before they could respond, Gai disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Shall we go?" Lee asked his comrade.

"Sure," Tenten responded, shrugging.

They walked to the movie theater along the main street of Konoha. They saw Neji being followed by a giggling group of teenaged, civilian girls and Hinata. She was taking pictures of her cousin. Lee and Tenten had both independently concluded that she was either going to use the pictures as blackmail or to sell them to the girls for a few extra bucks. The teammates proceeded to the theater.

"How about this movie, 'The Revenge of the Rogue Shuriken Blacksmith'?" Tenten suggested.

"Maybe. We could see this one," Lee suggested, pointing to a poster of "Finding Sasuke: a Documentary."

"You just want to see that because Sakura directed, stared in, and produced it!" Tenten snapped.

"Does it matter to you?" Lee asked innocently.

Tenten blushed. "Er, not really," she lied.

Nonetheless, they decided on, "I'll Kill You Even if it Kills Me," which was a love story between two shinobi, who were from warring countries. When the two teammates bought their tickets, they saw Sasuke behind the snack counter, who threatened to murder them both in their sleep if they told anyone where he was working. Lee and Tenten assured him that they would keep his secret and bought a large popcorn, with butter, from him. They found and entered theater three. "You know, Gai-sensei is trying to set us up," Tenten informed Lee after they were seated comfortably.

"Why would he want us to get in trouble? I refuse to believe such a terrible thing!" Lee folded his arms and looked away from his teammate.

"No, Lee," Tenten said softy to him, "he's setting us up on a date."

"A date? No way!" Lee yelled as he shot up out his chair. People turned their heads to stare at the strange, loud boy in green spandex. Tenten could tell by the tone of his voice that he had already known.

"You were in on it, weren't you?" she asked flatly.

"Er, no. What are you talking about?" Lee said insecurely as he sat down. Tenten glared at him. "Fine! Gai-sensei said it would be youthful to go out on a date with you," he admitted, "and it's youthfully fun to hang out with you!"

"Oh, how cute!" she said cheerfully as she ruffled his hair. His face melted into a crimson shade. When Tenten took her hand off of Lee's head, she looked down at her palm. "No greasy residue," she noted as she rubbed her thumb and index finger together. "What kind of shampoo do you use?" she questioned with excitement. Lee pressed his finger to his lips.

"It's a secret," he whispered. "Open up," he said, holding up a popcorn kernel and changing the subject. Tenten opened her mouth. He tossed it in her mouth.

"Tilt your head back and open your mouth," she commanded, taking a piece of popcorn. Her teammate did as he was told. He saw the kernel fly high up into the air, almost touching the high ceiling of the theater and land perfectly in his mouth. They grinned together. Before they knew it, they had asked the people sitting next to them to save their seats and Tenten was standing at the back of the theater throwing popcorn pieces into Lee's open mouth, who was standing right by the screen. The other movie-goers had given them a standing ovation as the two took their seats. The lights dimmed and the previews for future movies played on the gigantic screen. They cringed during the trailer for "Come Come Paradise the Movie" and cried in fear through the preview for "What Orochimaru **Really** Does to His Prisoners."

Then, the movie finally started. A woman came onto the screen. Judging from her headband, which was secured around her neck, she was from Konoha. She wore a sleeveless, short, green kimono and held a kunai in her hand. The woman stood in a forest clearing with a man, who was apparently from the Sound Village. His headband was in the standard location: on his forehead. Like the woman, he held a kunai in his hand.

_"I have to kill you now," the woman said, gripping her kunai._

"How corny," Tenten muttered to Lee.

_"The same as I," the man replied. They stood in silence. "Do you remember when we first met?" the man queried. _

_"Yes, I do," the woman answered. _

The movie then when into a flashback.

_The woman looked about two years younger and was hiding in a tree. She was peering down at the man, who also looked younger and didn't seem to notice her watching him. She flung six shuriken, three from each hand toward the man. They all hit him. "Mission accomplished," she whispered to herself. The man disappeared in a puff of smoke. The camera angle shifted. The man was sitting next to the woman on the branch and was lightly pressing a kunai against her neck. _

_"I'm Shinji, I was sent to kill you," he whispered in her ear._

_"I'm Matoko, my mission is to slaughter you," she whispered back. _

_Matoko and Shinji agreed to report to their countries and say that the other just "got away." They arranged to meet on the border of their countries. During the love scenes, Tenten looked away and Lee received four nose bleeds. Conflict arose when Shinji was captured by Konoha. Matoko eventually helped him escape. The flashback ended. After a long, dramatic, drawn-out discussion, the two decided to die together. They swallowed poisonous pills and then embraced each other. The screen faded out and the credits began to roll._

"That was so cheesy, right, Tenten?" Lee asked as he turned to his teammate. Tenten was sobbing. She grabbed his sleeve and cried into it. He pat her back and Tenten abandoned his sleeve to hug him, crying into his chest. The other groups, couples, and individuals began to file out of the theater, only turning their heads to stare at the odd duo who remained seated. Tenten and Lee stayed in their seats well after the credits stopped and the few last people exited. Without words, the two left the theater.

"Where to now?" Tenten asked, as she rubbed her eye with the back of her wrist.

"Wherever our youths take us! Tenten, I never thought you could cry that hard," Lee admitted. "Was it that sad?"

"Y-you thought I thought it was crying because I was sad?" Tenten asked nervously, her voice breaking. "I-I was crying b-because I w-was, er, laughing. Yeah! That's it! I was laughing!"

"Right," Lee muttered sarcastically. He looked at Tenten, whose eyes were slightly red.

Together, they wandered around aimlessly, occasionally peering into weapon shops. They were walking by a cafe with a big green sign when Tenten felt a tug on her arm. "Tenten, Gai-sensei recommended this place," Lee said, pointing to the sign.

"The Green Turtle Snack Shop?" Tenten questioned, reading the sign.

"Yes, Gai-sensei's mother owns this place," Lee explained.

_That explains the name,_ Tenten thought. With Lee leading the way, they walked into the cafe. Tenten's jaw dropped when her eyes adjusted to the indoor light. Behind the counter was the most hideous display of someone in disguise. In a long, black wig, a faded pink dress, fake breasts, and copious amounts of make-up was Gai. Seeing that his students had arrived, Gai jumped over the counter using his hand as support and scurried over to where Lee and Tenten were standing.

"Hello, I'm Gai... er, I mean Gai... Gaiko! I'll be serving you today," the man in disguise said in a high-pitched voice. "Party of two?"

"Yes, Gai-sen- Gaiko-san!" Lee answered enthusiastically.

"This is a cafe," Tenten stated in a plain voice. "We shouldn't be waited on, 'Gaiko'...-sensei."

"Why did you address me as 'sensei'?" Gai asked, starting to drop his high pitch.

"Hey! We weren't waited on!" Kiba shouted, who was sitting at a table with Hinata. Gai ignored him.

"This way please," the cross-dressing man said to his students, indicating for them to follow him. Tenten sighed, Lee squealed happily, and they followed their sensei to a small wooden table with two padded metal chairs surrounding it.

"So, what can I get you youthful youths?" Gai asked.

"Whatever isn't green or made of turtles," Tenten replied, looking up at the menu on the wall and trying to find something of her description.

"Oh, I can't do that. I can try to get something pale green," the wigged man replied. "You know what? I'll pick something out for you two youthful kids," Gai turned, hurdled the counter and began to take out pastries from the glass display case. Tenten glared across the table at Lee.

"Isn't Gai-sensei's mother youthful?" Lee asked nervously.

"You're friggin' kidding me," Tenten responded hatefully.

"You truly are a kunoichi worthy of respect! I would not have found out so easily myself!" Lee said, giving her a nice guy pose.

_It doesn't take a genius,_ Tenten thought. Seemingly spontaneously, their teacher appeared by their table holding a dish.

"You two make a youthful couple! This one's on the house!" He said, placing the plate on the table along with two spoons. It was a small mountain of mint-green ice cream with cookies stuck in at angles on the edges. After examining the cookies, Tenten was able to conclude that they were pistachio-flavored.

_Mint and pistachio_, Tenten thought. _It could be much worse. At least there isn't wasabi on it. _

After cheering, "Itadakimasu!" Lee picked up a spoon and stabbed the ice cream. He scooped out a gigantic heap of the creamy goodness, maybe a full cup and shoved it into his mouth. Tenten pulled out a cookie and nibbled it.

_Hey, not bad,_ she thought, evaluating the flavors with her taste buds.

"Tee hee!" Gai squealed as he skipped back to behind the counter.

"Tenten-chan, do you like it?" Lee asked after he swallowed his scoop of ice cream.

"Yeah, it's good," she replied after taking a bite of ice cream from her spoon.

"I think we should youthfully train together more often," Lee stated, licking his spoon.

"I thought you were happy training with Gai," Tenten reminded, "and Neji needs my weapon techniques to keep his kaiten in shape."

"Well, I was thinking that my taijutsu training would be improved if I worked on dodging your weapons!" Lee exclaimed, taking a cookie from the bowl. "And Gai-sensei won't mind if I train with someone else for a while." They both jumped when they heard the sound of their "waitress" dropping her head on the counter. Lee and Tenten stared at him.

"Oh, sorry, I almost fell asleep!" he lied in a high pitched voice. Lee and Tenten turned to each other again.

"Sure, why not?" Tenten said cheerfully. "It would be fun to practice on a fast moving target anyway!"

An awkward silence began at that point. Lee scooped a large amount of ice cream. Tenten picked up a cookie. Lee broke the silence. "What do you want to do after this?" he asked.

"I don't know. Train?" she suggested.

"Yes! We shall train!" Lee exclaimed.

"How youthful, Lee!" Gai screamed, standing up from his chair behind the counter and punching the air with both of his fists. Lee and Tenten stared at him. "Yes, go train," he muttered, sitting down.

Lee began to eat the ice cream at top speed. He left the last cookie uneaten. "Here, Tenten-chan," he said, offering the cookie to her.

"Thanks," she acknowledged, taking the cookie from him.

They stood up, waved good bye to their sensei, Hinata, and Kiba, and departed. The teammates began down the road to their training grounds. They spotted Neji running down the street. He glared at them and they giggled back. Lee made jokes about Neji until they arrived at the training grounds.

"Okay, Lee, just try to dodge everything I throw at you," Tenten advised, taking out a scroll.

"Of course, youthful Tenten-chan!" Lee responded, taking his stance.

The kunoichi jumped high into the air, unrolled her scroll, and began to summon her weapons. She threw them toward her teammate, holding back a bit. When she saw him easily dodging them, Tenten began to throw with more force. He continued to evade them all with ease. She touched down onto the ground. "Nice job Lee," she praised. He nodded and gave a toothy grin. Tenten tossed the used scroll aside and took out two scrolls this time. She kneeled down on the ground and placed them on either side of herself. She formed the hand seals, and then crossed her arms across her chest. "Soushoyruu!" she cried. The scrolls shot up and twisted around, creating a double helix with the paper. Tenten jumped high into the air and resumed summoning and throwing weapons, but at a higher rate, a higher velocity. He started to show signs of struggling to dodge the projectiles. _One more!_ Tenten thought when she reached the last summoning symbol. She threw it with all her might. Lee saw it coming, but couldn't avoid it. It plunged into his thigh. His knees gave in. " Tenten fell towards the ground, in shock. She scraped her hand when she landed. She didn't care. "Lee! I'm so sorry!" Tenten apologized, running to his side and pulling a bandage out of her weapons pouch.

"It's okay, I just need to train more," Lee said, trying to comfort her.

"No, it's not your fault!" Tenten said angrily, yanking out the kunai, then quickly and tightly wrapped the bandage over his clothes to stop the bleeding. She pulled his arm over her shoulder and picked him up into a piggyback ride. "Tsunade will be able to close the cut," Tenten explained as she carried him to the hokage's office.

"So, youthful Tenten-chan, did you enjoy our date today?" Lee asked.

"Er, yes, I did, up until I hit you," she answered, blushing.

"Do you want to go on another youthful date sometime?" he queried.

"Sure," Tenten answered, her face as red as the blood soaking through Lee's bandage.

"I LOVE YOU JIRAIYA-SAMA!" Neji screamed, while running by in his pink boxers, which completely threw off the "fluff" moment.

When they arrived at the hokage's office, Tenten dropped off Lee. She walked back to her home, for it was almost time for dinner. She had bumped into Gai and Neji separately. Gai had desperately asked her where Lee was, burst into tears when she told him, and ran off to the hokage's office. Neji had asked her where their sensei was. He was looking for his shirt and shorts. She indicated the direction and parted ways. Without warning, Sakura appeared in front of her from behind a bush. "Oh my god! Thank you so much! Now's Lee's going to get off my back for good!"


End file.
